"How does it feel to follow your dreams?" she asked...

So I had an interesting FB IM conversation last night. I was on FB, checking messages, updating my status, all the usual stuff, when I decided to check the side panel to see who was online. Immediately I was so happy to see that one of my girlfriends, a fly and very talented PR Director at FILA, was online. With her busy schedule this is very rare. So I decided to start the IM convo..it went a little something like this:

"Hey Lady!" I typed and hit the enter key. "Hey Gwen!"She replied. "How are you? How has your summer been?" "Good I answered, the start of the magazine is gaining much interest, and speaking of it, I'm still waiting for your email so I can send you the press release!" She typed back quickly exclaiming, "I'm sorry hun! I have been so busy, doing it asap right now, I am so proud of you for doing this, starting your on magazine, how does it feel?" I thought about this question, and got chills over my whole body.."I feel lifted," I typed, "I know that lifted is a strange word to use, but I feel free and in sync with what I should be doing right now. Some days I wake up with panic, and anxiety, thinking "What did I do? I already told so many people, so now I have to go through with this" and then I am immediately calm, because I know that I have my family, an awesome idea, seven years in the magazine publishing world, and the support of so many people who believe in me" "Wow" she said. "It is nice to hear an honest answer. When you ask most people how it feels to start something or do something big, they just say it feels "great" or "amazing," they never speak of the down side or the scary side." "Well," I started.."It's not an easy thing to follow your gut, leave what you know, and try something different. Most people who do so are so busy trying not to acknowledge the fears that they have, because they want to keep moving forward, and they know that moving forward in fear really means that your moving backward from success. So it's just easier to say that everything is going well, even when you may feel nervous that it won't."

When I decided to start a magazine, I new the reasons for which I made the decision. For the past seven years of my life, after graduation from Howard, moving from my home and family in MD, and coming to New York where I didn't know anyone, I always felt like it all was amounting to something. That feeling I had was right. The issue is, when we normally get these feelings, or "gut reactions" or the "little voice" that we hear inside of us, we ignore it. We go against ourselves. The world and society has made it this way. So this innate feeling that we get is unfamiliar, and through out history, the unfamiliar is what we neglect, what we run away from and what we destroy.

Its time for all of us to get familiar with our "gut instincts." Like all the sayings go:

"Pressure makes a diamond"

"No pain no gain"

"The early bird gets the worm"

"Only the strong survive"

"No guts no glory"

You know them, you've heard them..so there you go. What I have learned so far is that when you become the maker of the map, the direction is easier to follow....